Love is Patient
April 15, 2011 by WebPastor
Filed under Women in Ministry
This is the first blog in this series on love according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
The first description of love just so happens to be the one thing I struggle the most with. My husband would probably tell you if you looked up the antonym for patience you’d find my name. In fact, I remember rushing through a teaching one time on patience and having to go back over it and read it again. I’m impatient even when trying to learn about patience.
It’s not a coincidence this is the first thing used to describe love. God knows patience is something we all need help with.
When I used to lead women’s Bible studies in my home, one of the ladies asked us to pray for her to have patience. Everyone in the room quickly jumped and responded with “Oh no! You don’t want to pray for that! You’ll be tested!”
No one wants to be tested with patience because that means we’ll have to wait for something. However, I am learning that patience isn’t really about the waiting, it’s about our attitude we display while we’re waiting.I was actually tested in this area while studying for this message. I was in a hurry one day when I quickly stopped to get my kids something to eat through the drive-thru. After I drove away, I realized they forgot to give me one of the items I ordered. As I was grumbling over the fact that I had to go back and wait in the long drive-thru line when I was already running late, my daughter calls out from the back seat, “Mom, aren’t you studying patience this week?” I responded with a yes and asked her how she knew that. Her response was, “Because whenever you study patience you get impatient. Here my nine-year-old daughter can see when I’m being tested. It doesn’t feel too good when God humbles you through your children. However, it shows me that I obviously need to be tested because I keep failing in this area.
Colossians 1:11 says, “May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy.” (ESV)
If you think about it, we spend most of our life waiting, so we have many opportunities the devil can use to tempt us to lose our patience. We need to stand guard against these traps by keeping a good attitude, especially when something comes up unexpectedly.
I remember losing my patience one time when my husband said to me, “The devil is just laughing at you because you fell right into his trap.” That angered me that I was making the devil happy by my lack of self-control.
2 Peter 1:6, 8 in the Amplified Bible tells us… in [exercising] knowledge [develop] self-control, and in [exercising] self-control [develop] steadfastness (patience, endurance), and in [exercising] steadfastness [develop] godliness (piety)…For as these qualities are yours and increasingly abound in you, they will keep [you] from being idle or unfruitful unto the [full personal] knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).
Self-control is one of the fruits of the Spirit God has given us (Galatians 5:22-23). When we exercise knowledge (discernment) in situations where we are tempted to lose our patience, the fruit of self-control starts to develop. We don’t instantly walk in self-control; it has to develop in us. The only way to develop it is through times of testing, where we have an opportunity to use it.
As we exercise self-control, we develop patience. The more we exercise it, the more it develops. When we develop patience, we will display godliness and then Christ’s love can be seen through us. This is why the devil works so hard to tempt us to lose our patience. We lose our self-control when we are impatient and we don’t walk in love.
Romans 5:3-4 in the Amplified Bible reads, Moreover [let us also be full of joy now!] let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance. And endurance (fortitude) develops maturity of character (approved faith and tried integrity). And character [of this sort] produces [the habit of] joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation.
Trials produce patience. We should face each trial with joy because we know that it’ll produce endurance, which matures Jesus’ fruit in us. For example, I used to be insanely impatient with my husband and children. They couldn’t do anything wrong without me losing my patience.
I’d always try to change but I only seemed to get worse. I didn’t change until I actually learned that I had the fruit of self-control in me and I needed to allow God to develop it in me. This knowledge is what helped me in situations where I had to use self-control. At first, it wasn’t easy and I failed many times, but the more I leaned on God and kept working at it, the easier it became because His fruit of self-control started to develop in me.
The Holy Spirit’s fruit works the same as edible fruit. It starts as a seed, and as you feed and protect it, it eventually develops into fruit. When God is working on an area in me, at times it feels like it’s always going to be a struggle. Then one day I suddenly realize that it isn’t so hard because that fruit begins to develop.
We need to yield to the Holy Spirit whenever we get in a situation where we are tempted to lose our patience. The more we yield, the more fruit God can develop in us, and the more we will walk in love.
But let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
James 1:4 AKJV
Amanda Beth is a wife and mother of four children, and author of an upcoming book titled: YOU CAN HAVE A HAPPY FAMILY Steps to Enjoying Your Marriage and Children. She has been married for 14 years and has experienced transformation in her life and marriage since she surrendered her heart to Christ ten years ago. http://www.amandabeth.net/
